


Falling Twice

by MJLightwood



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Barry has the biggest crush on Oliver, Barry knew Oliver before the island, Iris is basically Sara, M/M, The Wests live in Starling City
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-08
Updated: 2015-12-08
Packaged: 2018-05-05 16:13:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5381690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MJLightwood/pseuds/MJLightwood
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Barry Allen thought he'd never have to see Oliver Queen ever again. But then Oliver came back from the dead, and all the butterflies in his stomach? Those came back too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Falling Twice

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to do something where Barry knew Oliver before the island, so this happened. Enjoy!

He remembered getting the news from Joe. ‘Oliver Queen is dead,’ Joe had said, coming back home in tears. Four words, and Barry felt like his world had come crashing down on him. But Joe didn't care about Oliver enough to shed tears, no, there was something else. And then came another four words, ‘Iris is dead too.’ And Barry didn't understand, didn't want to understand. How? How has he lost two people he cared so deeply about all at once?

Joe would explain, and Barry wasn't sure if he was sad or angry. Iris had followed Oliver onto the Queen’s Gambit, somehow without Joe or Barry or _anyone_ knowing. And the Gambit had sunk, taking Oliver and Iris with it.

When he was finally ready to come out of his room and face the facts, he went to Iris’s grave, and he talked. He talked about how Iris shouldn't have gone on that damned boat, shouldn't have gone with Oliver. Shouldn't have crossed the line Barry had never dared to cross.

Barry had fallen in love with Oliver Queen when they met in high school. The billionaire playboy without a care in the world, that had no reason to befriend Barry the dorky science nerd, yet somehow he did. And in the process, he’d stolen Barry’s heart as well.

But then Oliver started dating Laurel, and Barry knew there were lines he shouldn't cross, no matter how much he wanted to cross them. And Iris had crossed them, infatuated enough to have gone on that boat with Oliver, and now they were both dead, further proving Barry’s point.

But when he stood in front of Oliver’s empty grave, he didn't know what to feel. Sure, he was angry, furious at Oliver for bringing Iris on the boat, furious at Oliver for causing Iris’s death. But when he forced Iris out of the picture, he was sad, grieving. Sad that Oliver was dead, of course. But he also felt a little twinge in his heart that Oliver didn't invite _him_ on the boat.

And thinking about it, putting himself in Iris’s position, he asked himself: Would he really be the good guy and decline Oliver’s invitation?

He thought about Oliver Queen, how hopeless he was at his studies, and yet, he was smart, Barry knew he was smart. He thought about how reckless Oliver was, partying hard, getting drunk. But he was so always so kind to Barry because whenever Barry had one too many drinks, which wasn't often, he was there, guiding Barry into his car and back to Joe’s house.

He thought about Oliver Queen, how he'd fallen so fast and hard for him.

And deep down he knew that he probably wouldn't decline Oliver’s invite. Deep down he was a little jealous of Iris. But what did it matter? Oliver was dead, and he could only hope that those butterflies in his stomach whenever he saw Oliver, those lingering feelings after Oliver touched him, would die with Oliver.

-

It was Joe that brought him the news, ‘Oliver Queen is alive.’ Four words, so different from the last four words Joe had to tell him five years ago, and yet, they still had the same effect as Barry felt his world come crashing down once again.

He didn't know what to feel. Happy that Oliver Queen was alive? Angry that Iris wasn't? Barry knew he was confused, his feelings for Oliver often prompted that reaction. When he first realized he had feelings for Oliver, he was a mix of confused and terrified. But then he found comfort in how it was never going to happen, Oliver was straight after all, wasn't he?

Now he was both confused and terrified again, because those feelings he'd been pushing away for so long were coming back, and he didn't need them to come back. But he couldn't stop himself because when he saw Oliver for the first time in five years, he couldn't stop himself from feeling _happy._

After the mourning and grieving, Barry felt like he'd never be the same again, felt like it'd be wrong if he felt any happiness. He craved happiness, craved it during his fling with Linda Park, but he never quite felt that whole again, never let himself feel truly happy.

And now, watching Oliver descend down the stairs with Tommy beside him, Barry couldn't help but feel _happy._ But that feeling didn't last, there was something off about Oliver, something different. This wasn't the Oliver that had drowned five years ago, this was someone else, someone Barry could barely recognize if it wasn't for the piercing blue eyes.

Except, even those eyes were different, they scanned the room quickly, Oliver seemed on edge. The island had changed him, the Oliver that had drowned was truly dead, the Oliver that he'd fallen in love with was gone.

This man in front of him was something else entirely. The party didn't seem to intrigue him, the girls didn't catch his eye like they used to before. The smile on his face was reserved, it wasn't that carefree grin Oliver used to have, it was tight, all too fake.

But when Oliver bumped into him and nearly knocked him over, that fake smile disappeared, replaced with one rather similar to his old one, one that actually reached his blue eyes as he put a hand on Barry’s shoulder to steady Barry. ‘Hello, Barry,’ Oliver greeted, a voice Barry hadn't heard in years, a voice he didn't realize he'd missed, a voice so familiar yet so different.

And Barry knew from the tingles he was getting from Oliver’s touch and the flip his heart seemed to do that he was falling in love, again.

Was it possible to fall in love twice? With the same person? Barry tried not to dwell on the topic.

-

Barry did not regret going to the party, what he did regret was the one too many drinks he had whilst trying to figure out his feelings for Oliver. Honestly, the next day was a work day, what the hell was Barry thinking?

But then again, when it came to Oliver, he didn't really do that much thinking until it was too late.

He was way too thankful for his lunch break, thankful to be away from his lab for a while. But one step outside, and Barry was contemplating running back into the building.

Stood outside the station was Oliver, leaning on his motorcycle. Unfortunately, Oliver had spotted him, acknowledged him with a smile. So much for running. ‘Hello, Barry,’ Oliver said, and Barry’s thoughts instantly drifted back to the party, and he found that he'd lost all ability to speak properly.

‘Wha- what are you doing here?’ Barry asked, his voice turning into a squeak.

‘To catch up on lost time, Barry,’ Oliver replied. If he was offended by Barry’s question, he didn't show it.

Somehow Barry found himself eating lunch opposite Oliver, who'd offered Barry a ride there with his bike but had been nervously turned down by a blushing Barry. It would have been the most awkward lunch date (It was not _that_ kind of date, Barry constantly reminded himself) he'd ever had if Oliver didn't break the record silence they'd held as they walked from the station to the restaurant nearby.

‘I'm sorry about Iris,’ Oliver finally said.

Iris was a sore topic, someone who's death Barry tried to forget. He tried to remember his best friend Iris, not went-on-a-cruise-with-Oliver Iris. And he would've been successful if Oliver hadn't reminded him.

Oliver had opened up a wound Barry had tried very hard to close, a wound full of jealousy and anger. And suddenly Barry came to his senses. This was Oliver Queen, the reason his best friend was dead, a man who's cheat on his girlfriend and not blink an eye, and look at the consequences.

‘How could you do that?’ Barry asked. ‘Lie to Laurel’s face. Convince Iris to go with you. How?’

Oliver didn't answer, his eyes met Barry’s, filled with guilt. ‘I don't know,’ Oliver lied. _Maybe because my heart belonged to someone else,_ Oliver thought, but he didn't dare say it out loud, not when Barry looked so angry and confused.

Barry shook his head at Oliver. But no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't push away the feelings he'd rediscovered last night at the party. He looked at his watch, desperate for an excuse to get away as soon as possible, reasoning that it was the right thing to do, the only way to save himself from heartbreak.

‘I, umm, I need to go back to the station,’ he announced, despite the fact that he had thirty minutes to spare. He got up from his seat, ignoring the half eaten food in front of him, he needed to get out. What would Joe say if he saw him here with Oliver? He knew Joe had his suspicions about Barry’s feelings for Oliver but he doubted that it was much of an excuse, if anything it'd only make Joe much angrier, two of his kids falling for the same playboy.

Barry couldn't bring himself to leave. Subconsciously, he started rambling. ‘Thank you for lunch and all. It's good that you're not dead.’ He was positive his cheeks were glowing red. He heard Oliver get up as he made his way to the exit, but he pushed forward, forcing himself out of the restaurant. Then he felt a hand on his arm, and he couldn't help but stop and turn around.

Oliver’s blue eyes were intense, he lifted his hand and gently rested it on Barry’s cheek. His other hand was still gripping Barry’s arm. Barry felt like he had melted into a puddle. ‘Barry… I'm sorry,’ Oliver said before leaning in and pressing his lips to Barry’s.

Barry let himself comply, let himself kiss Oliver back, finding that it came as naturally as breathing did. He'd dreamt of this far too many times, and now that it was happening his brain short-circuited. He let his arms wrap around Oliver’s neck, let his eyes flutter close.

When Oliver pulled away, Barry was out of breath and in shock. ‘Okay, what just happened?’ Barry managed to say. This was certainly not the reunion he was expecting. Oliver’s smile was genuine, and Barry was capable of doing one thing, leaning forward and kissing Oliver again.

Everything else he'd figure out later, assuming he could figure anything out when it came to Oliver Queen. For now, he enjoyed the ridiculousness of the situation because, damn, he never fathomed he'd ever have the chance to see Oliver again, much less kiss him.

And for the first time in five years, he was truly happy _._


End file.
